Survival

All posts tagged Survival

The Ghost of Gangrene

Published May 23, 2013 by rlmcdermott

it moves from left to right
and calls your name

it preys and prays
and calls you to its side
to dress you dead

the sweet deliverance
of pills that know your name

the sound of your own voice
the hidden mystery of it all
to watch death is to die

codeine has the properties of gangrene

your nerves dance like hobbled ballerinas
on toes that look like blackened twigs

your spring has been a bitter season
grown sweet before its final blossoming
roots dipped in the alkali of too much love
andante-sweet dementia-praecox
is simply another word for prayer

this is the epic of your life
to die without birth
a requiem of pain
unannounced and unashamedFlower

Mourning

Published May 1, 2013 by rlmcdermott

you make dinner
you wash the dishes
you set the clock
you lock the door
you go to bed

this is all about being alive
the small gestures
the unconscious acts
the slow forgetting

someone you love has died

when will love return
do you miss it more
than you miss him

even the birds are
silent in this mourning

you listen for their song

suddenly the sunFlowers

Hecuba’s Advice To Helen

Published April 10, 2013 by rlmcdermott

As he changed; I changed–
our bodies flattening out
like images on a coin
rubbed thin by a God’s thumb;

That old man, who
once was young,
now seen only as himself–
stooped and graying.

My Priam,
father of two sons,
one faithful,
one foolish,
both Princes of Troy;
soldiers and heroes
all a wife has to give
to a husband
and all a mother
has to give to her
husband’s people–
such are the wages of marriage
and the price of war.

Listen Helen,
if you bear children
pray that they are girls,
not that they should
be exempt from battle,
for women also die in war;
but that they be exempt
from love and give themselves
instead to the gods,
a temple life,
where the marriage bed is unknown
and sons are things that other women bear–
stillborn warriors marching toward
embattled cities as if they were immortal
and made of steelier things than flesh.

Husbands and sons these are a woman’s lot
and, so, it is a joy to grow old
to turn away from the seductions
of a life spent with men.

Yes, an aging husband
in these hard days
is a glorious thing.
Value Paris and hope he lives
beyond the onslaught of this day
and angry Menelaus sitting
cross-legged outside of Troy’s gate. Portrait

DEROS

Published December 14, 2012 by rlmcdermott

He came
air evac’d
from Camp
Red Cloud;
a thirty mile
flight seizing
all the way.

They stopped
the seizures
but could not
stop the blood–
we worked
sixteen-hour
shifts for a week

His mother came
three days before
he died. She
held his hand
and asked him
if he couldn’t stay
a few more days.

He died on my day off
when the dragon flies
low to the ground
and the ginkgo is full of fruit.

We Go Along

Published November 29, 2012 by rlmcdermott

we go along
as if nothing
is happening

as if the cancer
is a dream
and we can
wake up
and you’ll
be there
young and strong

today
I drew a picture
I wrote a poem
I peeled an orange
and listened to a song

these things I do
while you fight
to stay alive

the picture wasn’t beautiful
the poem didn’t rhyme
the orange was sour
and the song

there are no songs
that can comfort you
you are the one
who is fighting
for your life

a visit from a friend
tickets to a Giant’s game
your wife’s smile

these are the things
you do while I fight
to stay alive

two diseases
both cruel
mine is a secret
your’s belongs to the world

you long to be private
while I long to be seen

Red-Haired Boy

Published September 19, 2012 by rlmcdermott

I catch it but
it will not stay;
this thing that
slips away so
easily–like sand
it cannot hold itself.

The red-haired boy
becomes a son,
becomes a brother,
becomes a friend,
becomes a lover,
becomes a husband,
becomes a man.

With him–
a smile is
everything.

He loves words
and so he married
an East-Coast girl;

they keep to
themselves–
blue on blue.

The cowboy who went to sea
taught us everything–

Devil Dogs,
Yankee Doodles,
Umberto’s Pizza,
Big Blue,
Bohack’s sneakers,
Zeusgazette.

Who writes poems about such things?

And so we fight,
and so we pray,
and so we believe;

he will defeat the
long slow thing
that wants him for itself,
our red-haired boy
whom we so love.

Soliloquy

Published September 12, 2012 by rlmcdermott

why them
why those
two girls
why that house
with the gray porch
and a mimosa growing
in the front yard

the old man
the apple tree
the factories
the gas station
the seven-eleven
the neighbor’s dog

nothing made
a difference

could you
hear them at night
could you
see them in the window
waiting to be seen
waiting to be loved

did you hear them
singing songs
writing poems
pretending to
be someone else

one heard voices
the other one
starved herself
hoarded pills
kept a butcher
knife underneath
her dress

she meant
business
that one

a cat has nine lives
a little girl has only one

Autumn

Published September 11, 2012 by rlmcdermott

Everything
happens
in the fall;
all loss
is in a leaf–
yellow and gold
to the ground.

Even
tall buildings
must fall;
three thousand
hearts and you
in one hour–
autumn.

Two things
juxtaposed,
whose pain
is greater
the leaf’s
or mine;

Falling,
falling,
falling
into the
bright
September
sun–
everything
happens in
the fall.